Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Sore throat =(

Some of you will know how sensitive my throat is coz I need to drink certain drinks after eating certain stuff (like drinking hot tea after meals, not that I am fussy >.<). Jenn and Las will know how often I get sore throat, coz it always comes at least once every 2 months...and this morning, it came! Arrghhh... it's not only the sore throat, my head is dizzy and I feel generally unwell - what a way to start the new semester =( Kinda lost all my energy to do anything, just want to wrap myself in my blanket and sleep early tonight...

It always amazes me to see people...to see them going through the ups and downs in life, to see them getting connected to different people, to see them jumping from one group of friends to another, to see them laugh and cry, to see them struggling and becoming stronger...basically, to see them going through life.

I always wonder what drives people, what is the one thing that they hold onto, and what made them stand up every time they fall. And I talked to Las about it during lunch, and we were both just thinking about what keeps us going everytime (and it's funny how everytime we never actually come to an answer =P).

I remember when things were rough for me, when visions get blurred and I really don't know where I am heading, I just kept walking, trusting that God won't let me walk the wrong path. Now, with where I am today, I am amazed at the blessings that God has poured over my life. Looking back, I really don't deserve what I've received. And then I realised what keeps me going..it's His unconditional love.

When things are tough and I start to put Him aside, step by step, I start going off the tangent; little by little, I start neglecting and ignoring His words - but... He never left me. He just kept on making His presence known, and using my environment to make me realise that He is a good God. And it's this unconditional love for me that makes me wanna finish the good race even more...

But one thing I know for sure, knowing it and experiencing it inside your heart are two totally different things - the former will keep you going (may be aimlessly), but the latter will make you run with a focus in mind, and that is to glorify His name.

Our spiritual walks are filled with seasons, ups and downs, that's the reality of life. But I refuse to believe that we can do nothing about it, coz in the end, it all depends on us to have the desire to change for the better. Especially for leaders, I am constantly being reminded and challenged to jerk myself out from the low/dry seasons as fast as possible because I know I cannot lead anyone if I can't lead myself.

So as I ponder (for my next blog entry =P)...what role am I playing now? A spectator that watches people walk in and out of my life and try to stay out of their business (I always do that =P)? Or am I supposed to be doing something more? What can I do anyway? How do you let them know that you know what they're going through and encourage them to keep on fighting the good fight? Will it make a difference?

Time for lecture now...ECON306, here I come!

Sore throat is still there...Difflam throat spray =P Pray the sore throat will be gone tomorrow!~


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